Soylent Green – I SAID NO KETCHUP!!

As I work my way through hundreds of sci-fi movies, it was inevitable that I indulge in a little Soylet Green. A timeless classic, and tasty snack, Soylent Green shou….. what? ITS MADE OF WHAT??? Ohhhhhh…. For a second there I was afraid you said Humus. False alarm…

Now I don’t know about you, but I’m almost positive that Heston acquired his firearm affinity while shooting (intentional pun – I’m awesome) this movie. Of course he would want to gun everyone down after fighting for tiny portions of chewable, REAL food. I mean, not that people crackers aren’t real, because lets face it, shit doesn’t get more real than eating a graham cracker made of your neighbours leg…

Soylent Green is certainly a film with a lot to offer. If sexually active furniture isn’t your thing, you’ll be happy to know that there are action packed street riots, like this one!

With good’ol dumping people in to a truck, you’ll be reminiscent of your Zoot Suit days in no time!  You’ll also get a glimpse in to the making of Soylent Green.

Unfortunately for this promotional add, there was a moisture leak above the production line which transmuted some Soylent. I think they’ll advertise it as a new product for kids though. —GROW-A-HESTON! Just add a little water, and in seconds you’ll have your very own ascot-sporting frilly boy!—-

Overall, the movie was good. I honestly would have enjoyed it more had it not been for the Ascot… There is just something about them I think… Oh! I know… THEY’RE HIDDEOUS!!

If you haven’t seen the film yet, go head. It’s a classic for a reason. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll stay up listening to the power rangers theme on repeat dying saltine crackers green until you pass out.

TOXIC FOOD COLOURING FTW!!!!